Day 20

Paintball today was awesomelicious.... I mean aside from the actually being shot part, of course.... I mean sensitive skin made it quite interesting. My hand is still swollen and from being shot in the knuckles.... And my body is extremely sore but it was well worth it.

This first pic is right after I got shot... The second is me in that sweatbox.....
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Day 19

So, today is the 8th day in a row that I've worked.... Not that I mind. I'm just relieved that I get a day off tomorrow to do some fun things like paintballing, and bbqs and such. On another note, I'm planning too many trips starting with Miami for my birthday.... And before the end of the year I have to make my way to Philly, NY, OR, CA and CT. But, traveling is awesome so..... Blah.... I'll make it work. Especially since I'll have the whip before my bday... Eeown lol. New poem coming soon.... Just need inspiration.
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Day 4

I blew a bubble with some gum today. It didn't get stuck on my tongue ring. I smiled. Removing it let's me enjoy the little things lol. The end.
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Words of wisdom (Day 2, too)

Something I came across today....

"[People] Who Want MORE, never settle for less. If you are not about the daily business of bettering yourself, then you have settled. If youre not fixing your credit, losing weight, expanding your knowledge, growing spiritually, then you have settled for less than your best self. You get MORE, by Being MORE. Take the first step today towards a better YOU!"

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Day 2

Through desecration of our temples, we are constantly reminded of that time in our life and we are forced to remember whatever it is that we were going through at that time. For example, when I got my tongue pierced... Albeit something I wanted to do for quite some time... I was going through a phase in my life that I don't want to be forced to relive. So, today... I removed that reminder and I almost immediately felt relief. In order for me to move on spiritually, I had to change that part of myself. I now have a clear mind and pure heart. It may sound weird, but its actually true....
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My happy ending (still Day 1)

Why are "happy endings" synonymous with "love" ? Why do we strive to find someone to complete who we are? Lol, its absurd quite frankly. I'm going to find my happy ending with or without someone by my side. It doesn't even have to be lonely because in this modern day and age.... I can walk right up to a sperm bank and spend the rest of my life with someone I created...... Happily ever after.
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Day 1

Today I am attempting to rid myself of unnecessary technological luxuries and things that bring stress to my life. It began with a few numbers in my phonebook and evolved to an entire new revolution. Ubertwitter.... Gone. All other messaging apps (aside from BBM)... Gone. Facebook... Deactivated. All other sites.... On the list.
I realize I have become way too involved in other people's lives. So, I am graciously bowing out. No offense to the friends that will be there when the smoke clears... But I need this time to get my shit together.... For real this time. With that having had been said, I will be posting on my blog.... So those who care... will know that I'm still alive. But, I don't plan on answering many phonecalls or text msgs.
Its time for a change... Cause this same ol' shit just isn't working for me anymore.
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Regret

I met the person,
Whom I believe to be my soulmate,
But it didn't work at first,
And they don't believe in 2nd dates.
No time to try again...
No take 2's with life...
I guess...
So I'll live trying to piece together
Whatever parts of my life are left.
Trying not to be filled any longer
With regret....
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The Way You Make Me Feel

Talking to different people...
We're moving along....
But it don't feel right...
B/c I'd rather be with you...
At the end of the night.

It may not be kosher,
And I don't expect it to be reciprocated...
But I just can't deal
With this being the way I feel.

Jealous and possessive,
Of what is no longer mine...
Trying to get my shit together,
And it has gotten better with time...
But its still hard to deal...
With this being the way I feel...

I wish it weren't real...
And I could end these statements
With a "j/k"
But I'm not....
Just kidding...
The feelings I thought were gone,
Have still not been ridden.
So its hard to deal...
With the way u make me feel...

Its not even a good feeling,
But full of insecurities,
Unworthiness,
Being used,
Abused,
Mislead,
And disrespected.
But, at least I was happy...
Smh.
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ILY no longer

Written down,
Over and over again,
Rhythmically articulated...
Melodically enunciated...
The only way
It'll penetrate...

"I love you no longer. "

Deep from my heart,
The emotion evolves,
Misinterpreted by the brain...
Due to the constant,
Soul-wrenching pain...

"I love you no longer!"

I look in your eyes,
Still seeing the person I loved,
The person I care for...
The person I CARED for.
But when push comes to shove...

".....I love you no longer"

I hate you...
And what you did to me...
Weakened me...
Took away my invincibility...

Because...

I love you so strong, ugh!
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When I'm Gone

A desire for affection,
Which isn't being satisfied,
A feeling of depression
Which can not be rectified....
By any,
But one...
And they are long gone...
So in this sadness,
I'll stay....
Until my time here is done.
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