Tired...

These times come around way too often, and it is not because I am a female. I get aggravated because for years I've kept my emotions locked up inside, and its driving me out of my effing mind. Nothing in my life is where I want it to be, and nothing is going as planned. I'm single because I'm extra picky... I'm jobless because I'm going back to school in a couple of weeks so NO ONE wants to hire me. My funds are running dry and my patience is nonexistent. I'm tired of people telling me how to live my life. I'm tired of people coming at me wrong. I'm tired of the liars trying to manipulate their way into my life. I'm tired of sex in the media. I'm tired of everyone being gay. I'm tired of these weird ass dreams about gay people, rat chicken drumsticks, rice that looks like mashed potatoes and people trying to shoot at me. I'm tired of explaining myself. I'm tired of everyone being obsessed with celebrity lives. I'm tired of Chris Brown trying to be like MJ... You're better than him stop trying to downgrade yourself. I'm tired of wondering if Beyonce will be able to come up with another "Experience"... I'm tired of waiting for Lauryn Hill to come back and restore order in Hip Hop. I'm tired of Soulja Boy's contentless songs. I'm tired of people shitting on Cory Gunz. I'm tired of Atlanta. I'm tired of being put on hold by the financial aid office at Del State. I'm tired of waiting for my refund check, and I'm tired of waiting to see if this loan for the fall is going to be approved.

::sigh::

I'm tired of Grown ass 40 year old men trying to talk to me. I'm tired of people. I'm tired of it all.

Shocked and Amazed...

WOW... So it came to my attention that I am apparently trying to get with Ty... "I'm in Atl, you're in ATL., I'm bored, you're bored..".... For real? Thats what I said?... If I'm not mistaken those EXACT words appeared on my laptop screen last night (July 18th) however they were not typed by Nigia M. Mew. I am a lot of things, and I have made a lot of mistakes, but I have grown from them. I am not one to hold my tongue while I am heated about something, so I tried to calm down a little before I wrote this.... but the frustration is still there. My closest friends and I can honestly laugh about this because there are so many things that are wrong with this picture. 1... My standards for guys are OUTRAGEOUS.... and although I don't like to admit it... I am one of the most shallow people I know lol. 2... Contrary to popular belief, I am not interested in every older guy that is interested in me.3... I'm REALLY not into drama.
Honestly, I forgive him, because he really didn't know who he was dealing with. He forgot who I am... but I am surely about to remind him... so that he never makes that mistake again.

-So many people have already been screwed over by this scandal... marriageS are facing turmoil... people have been lied to, and mislead by pure treachery and its all because people just "don' care anymore". Its obvious that you don't care. If you did, you would be trying to work through your problems and find some solutions instead of going out trying to fuck naive, desperate, and/or insecure little girls. I guess you thought I was another one.... but honestly I am none of the above. I tried to lend an ear to someone who at one point in time pretty much helped raise me and not be biased to what everyone else was saying about him and what everyone has said about him over the years... and I tried to just be a friend. However, some people don't deserve my loyalty and friendship... so I'm done with it. I know who NOT to trust now.

Luvlinunoit89 (6:52:56 PM): For real Ty?
Luvlinunoit89 (6:56:00 PM): smh...
Luvlinunoit89 (6:57:41 PM): Ty is goin around tellin ppl u said "your bored, im bored....you in atl, im in atl"
TYKENMIL30 (7:12:51 PM): WHAT THE HELL
Auto Response from Luvlinunoit89 (7:12:52 PM): Not trying to make it hot...Cause thats when people start assuming stuff...but PLEASE DON'T TRY ME....When you're involved in enough drama... why try to bring other people into it, FALSELY... Worry about your son and WIFE... not about Nigia.... ...
TYKENMIL30 (7:13:28 PM): I KNOW WHERE THAT CAME FROM
TYKENMIL30 (7:13:36 PM): UR RIGHT MY BAD...IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN
Luvlinunoit89 (7:21:50 PM): Right... w/e
Luvlinunoit89 (7:22:00 PM): ...its fine...
TYKENMIL30 (7:30:34 PM): DIDN'T MEAN TO BRING U IN...WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN
TYKENMIL30 (7:31:00 PM): I WAS WRONG......WELL WRONG CHOICE OF A TEST
Luvlinunoit89 (7:32:29 PM): i see

Don't believe everything you hear... cause it's bullshit.

Clarification...

I considered deleting the Blog titled "What's Going On" because after getting the facts in order, and getting a real understanding as to what truly IS going on... It isn't as it seems. Not to say that IF it were true that I condone it... but I understand that humans make mistakes and we learn from them.

However, I was reminded that when some things happen in the "band family" a lot can be taken out of context, and in turn, that is how rumors are started. People get bored with their lives and feel the need to go off and make up things about others in order to cause drama and to give them something to do. I find that most Rumors are basically embellished truths... so although it may be EMBELLISHED... think about what you're putting out there. When you give people a chance to say something negative, always assume that they will. So... Basically be discreet and be aware that anything that you tell anyone can and might be used against u later on. So don't be surprised when it does...

-Lai' D

What Is Truly More Ground Breaking?

Sex is a hot topic, and it is very common to come across blogs about sex. However, my thing is... I think sex between a man and a woman is more "ground-breaking" than same-gender-sex. Honestly, I think it is harder to have great sex with a partner of the opposite gender because its mostly trial and error. One can't be sure about what they're doing, and how it feels because things feel differently for men and woman. In my opinion, any man SHOULD be better at fellatio than a woman their first times around, because a guy SHOULD know what he would like done to him, and vice versa for cunnilingus. Lesbians, in my opinion, should be better at it than a guy their first time around.... If I am coming off as ignorant, I truly am not meaning to lol... it was just a random thought that popped into my head.

On a different note, sex is not hard... therefore there should be no excuse... Male or Female, Gay, Bi, Lesbian, or Straight, for anyone to be bad at it. Practice makes permanent... so don't think that just because you have sex with all different types of people that you're like a sex god.. cause that may not be the case... you may be stuck in your destructive ways...

So... Wrap it up... stay safe... know your status... and don't be afraid to try new things... experiments are the foundation of creation...

-Lai' D

What's Going On?

These days it seems as if the moral coding of society has completely lost all relevance. People today have really lost their minds. It is sad that when I hear about a teacher and student relationship... I am no longer surprised or astounded. Shockingly enough, I am rather apathetic about it now because it happens way too often. For example, I read an article about 4 teachers at a high school being accused of relations with 17 year olds and 2 of these teachers had relations with the same 17 year old girl. What is really going on?

This topic kinda hit home for me, too. Band has been a part of my life for a very long time now, and is pretty much like my 2nd family. I learned a lot of life lessons while I was in band, and I learned how NOT to act from individuals in the band and their whore-like-tendencies. The band director, Ty, was really like a father figure... always in everyone's business trying to make sure everyone was doing the right things. Happily married, or so I thought, with a band baby... It seemed as if everything was running rather smoothly for years. So when I find out that he allegedly cheated on my "band mom" with a staff member and possibly two students, who are like his daughters... It makes me question what the fuck is really going on. If this is true, which it may or may not be... it makes me question everything I thought I knew about morality, my "2nd family" and the last 6 or so years of my life.

Honestly, the news of this adultery has broken down the foundation of the band and is causing a lot of confusion and chaos. Allegedly, Ty has been run out of the state to work in the south with another band, and leave everything he worked so hard for many years to build behind him along with the family that for now, lacks a father. I really hope, that if all these allegations are true, that the sex was AMAZING and worth losing everything and having to start from scratch.

Now the new kids coming to the program have no future...

I wonder if they were being thought of when all this "incest" was occuring in the fuckin' "family"... eh... and now I'm over it...

-Lai' D

First Blog

First Blog... ::BLah:: UNDER CONSTRUCTION....

My name is Nigia but I am known to many as different names. I am known as Luvlii, Lady D, First Lady of HND, Bumblebee?, my middle name and a new addition is "Lai' D Royale". My hometown is Brooklyn, NY... but I was born out in FarRockaway, QNs. However, I am only in New York to visit, now... because my mother now lives in Atlanta, GA and I go to school in Delaware. ::ARGH:: Yeah, I'm all over the place.

My best friend's name is Chris aka Prince... He's a great person and I love him dearly despite our... issues lol... Every good friendship has its loops and whirls... ya know... We both are at Del State majoring in Forensic Science... and unfortunately we're both in DSU's Aproaching Swarm/storm... whatever... Marching Band...

NYCsFlyest87 says:

Nigia: the weird piccolo girls who loves rice. shes cool....probably the best thing i have right now...even tho i dont tell her. extremely smart even tho she sumtimes doesnt excersise(sp) it...really weird at times....even tho i completely understand...so i guess im weird too

I mean... I don't think I'm all that weird... but eh... he's my best friend... I guess he would know?

Oh yeah... I'm 18, and single if you're cute...

Married to the game if you're ugly.. (^_^)