I am a mixture of nothing but mixed feelings right now.
I am not sure whether they have all manifested over night....
or if they have been cultivating within my heart and mind...
for quite some time...
I can't see up or down....
It's like I'm constantly being spun around...
and the air beneath my feet...
retreats...
and I'm lost and confused.
I think some clarity is long over due.

I have grown tired of investing my all...
being so willing to fall...
down the rabbit hole...
and let someone tear yet another piece of my soul.
I don't have much left to give...
With so much apathy how can I live...
How can I love...
How can I love?
I feel so numb.

I do so much for others,
but who does the same for me?
I try to give all motivation...
but who'll encourage me?
I get weak...
I cry sometimes too.
I need attention,
affection,
compassion,
understanding...
Love alone will just not do.
I need the whole package to get me through.

How can I be so lonely,
surrounded by the whole entire world?
I'm numb because I'm sad....
I'm sad because I'm numb.
Where have all my feelings gone?